I can’t tell you how often I hear this phrase from women. I felt it myself so I know how it call feel. So many times, women suffer a serious blow to their self esteem and to the way they feel about themselves when their husbands cheated or had an affair.
Sometimes, they compare themselves to the other woman who may be younger (or who may be, at least in the wive’s eyes, prettier. Please don’t make these comparisons that only make you feel worse about this whole situation. The thing is, you are the same beautiful woman that you were before you found out about his cheating and his affair.
Please don’t let this one external event (that has nothing to do with beauty or looks) to affect how you feel about yourself. You have not physically changed. And, frankly, his cheating usually has more to do with how he feels about himself than with how he feels about you. In the following article, I’m going to tell you why and I’m going to try to make you see that you most certainly are not ugly.
A Husband’s Affair Very Seldom Has Anything To Do With How His Wife Looks (Or Even How He Feels About Her:) If men only cheat on women who are “ugly” or unattractive, then why did gorgeous women like Halle Barry, Jennifer Aniston, or Elizabeth Hurley have to deal with cheating spouses or partners? It doesn’t make sense.
No, a man’s cheating often has to do with the fact that he himself feels ugly or lacking in some way. It is no coincidence that men often have affairs when they are also having personal struggles. This is all about them – not all about you. Don’t let something that stems from a flaw within them allow you to think that the flaw is within you.
His Infidelity Was Not Your Fault. You Don’t Deserve To Fell Ugly. Make No Apologies For Rebuilding Your Self Esteem: Once you understand that the affair is not your fault, then it’s time to leave no stone unturned until you restore your self esteem. Make no apologies for doing what you need to do to feel better about yourself, who you are, or the way that you look.
When I was going through this, I thought it was silly to get a make over and do all of those things. But once I let some friends talk me into this, I did feel better. Eventually, I built upon these good feelings and I went back to school, lost a little weight, and changed my appearance a bit so that I felt better about myself.
But ultimately, I like to believe that I did these things for me, not for him. And honestly, until I felt better about myself, I wasn’t going to heal properly or believe his good intentions or anything that he was saying.
Just for today, give yourself permission to do something nice for yourself so that you feel a little better. You are not ugly. This was an ugly thing that happened to you, but it has nothing to do with your appearance. Your husband did not think you were ugly when he married you and he likely doesn’t think that now. Feeling better about yourself is the first step toward healing. Do what you need to do to restore your confidence and feel some relief.
You can read more about my journey on my blog at Surviving The Affair (http://surviving-the-affair.com/) if you want more support. I also really like and am affiliated with the work of Dr. Robert Huizenga because he repeatedly reassures you that there’s nothing wrong with you. He has a great free e course and recording on this you can see here.
The same holds true for “Her Secrets” but this is to restore sexual confidence only when you are ready.
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