I’m Afraid People Will Think I’m A Cockold, Weak, Or Whipped If I Stay With The Spouse Who Cheated

By: Katie Lersch:  When we find out that our spouse has been cheating, we know that we should momentarily close out the world and focus on what is inside of our own home.  We know that we should close ranks and worry only about what WE think and what WE want. But this is easier […]

How Do I Be More Stoic And Stable After My Spouse’s Affair? I Can’t Seem To Toughen Up.

By: Katie Lersch: If your best friend were to tell you that she was struggling emotionally after her husband’s affair, I’d be willing to bet that you would be extra loving, supportive, and gentle toward her. You’d likely tell you that she should be kind to herself and to take her time in trying to […]

Why Would A Spouse Even Want An Affair?

By: Katie Lersch:  Sometimes, I get correspondence from the faithful spouse who is struggling to understand their spouse’s reasoning for having an affair. I completely understand this.  I struggled with understanding also.  And I feel that much of the time, the faithful spouse has a very hard time understanding this because it is not something […]

We Can Not Communicate Without Arguing After The Affair

By: Katie Lersch:  There’s no question that even being in the same room can be a challenge after your spouse has an affair.  Communicating with any sense of efficiency or courtesy can feel almost impossible.  And this is understandable.  You’re angry.  You don’t want to hear anything that he has to say.  He may sound […]

My Husband Won’t Even Try To Make Things Right With Me After He Cheated. There is No Attempt Whatsoever

By: Katie Lersch: Finding out that your spouse has cheated on you is something that most of us will consider one of the most disappointing experiences that we will ever go through. We have put our trust in this person. We have invested much time and emotion into the relationship. We were faithful and we […]

Can A Woman Have An Emotional Affair Out Of Revenge And Not Realize It?

By: Katie Lerch: I get a decent amount of correspondence about revenge after an affair.  Sometimes, the faithful spouse wants to (or is considering) doing something to get revenge.  Other times, they are feeling the urge to want revenge but they are trying desperately to resist that urge because they know that it is not […]

My Husband Had An Affair And Now All He Wants To Do Is Have Sex With Me

By: Katie Lersch:   There is an assumption that a couple struggling with infidelity aren’t having much sex.  This may be because the person who was unfaithful isn’t interested.  Or because the faithful spouse is so turned off by the thought of her spouse sleeping with someone else that she has placed sex off limits. […]

The Affair Is Over, But He Told Me That He “Had The Time Of His Life”

By: Katie Lersch: When your husband claims that the affair is over, this is really only the beginning of what you want. Sure, there is relief that it’s over. But you also want and need to believe that he is sorry and that he realizes how wrong and hurtful his actions were. Unfortunately, not every […]

I Don’t Understand Why I Would Actually Want My Spouse To Know All Of The Details Of My Affair – Or Why I Would So Willingly Tell Him

By: Katie Lersch: Much of the time, when I hear from folks on the topic of the details of an affair, I hear from faithful spouses looking for a way to force their spouse to tell them everything. Or, I hear from the cheating spouse who wants to know just how much they have to […]