Infidelity Articles By Katie Lersch

I once spoke with a young woman who had only been married for a short time. She had just found out that her husband had cheated on her. He swore he was sorry, promised he’d go to counseling or do whatever she needed, and was full of reassurances and pleas for her not to leave or divorce him.

She wanted to believe him. But she was unbelievably hurt. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine they’d be facing this kind of issue—especially so early in their marriage.

Deep down, she didn’t want to walk away. She loved him. She felt he was her soul mate. But there was a little voice in the back of her mind that kept whispering: A soul mate wouldn’t do this. She told me, “I know he’s ‘the one,’ but my friends say that if he really was, he wouldn’t have cheated. Is there any way for us to move past this? I don’t want to let him go, but I’m scared things will never be the same again.”

My heart broke for her. This should have been one of the happiest times in her life. Instead, she was dealing with betrayal—and feeling completely alone in her decision to stay. She said everyone around her was calling her crazy for even considering it.

But here’s the thing: it wasn’t their marriage. It was hers. And ultimately, it was her choice to make. I don’t doubt that her friends and family meant well. They wanted to protect her. But sometimes, the most helpful thing someone can do is just listen—without judging, preaching, or pushing their own opinions.

Can a Man Who Cheats Still Be ‘The One’ or a Soul Mate?: That was the question she kept coming back to. And it’s one I’ve heard more times than I can count. So here’s how I usually respond: One awful decision doesn’t cancel out everything else that came before. It doesn’t automatically erase the connection, the history, or the love that exists between two people.

That said, her husband had a lot of work to do. This wasn’t a small misstep—it was a major breach of trust. The marriage had taken a serious hit. But that doesn’t mean it’s beyond repair. With time, effort, honesty, and usually some outside help, it is possible to heal.

The one thing I don’t recommend is just sitting back and hoping that love—or the idea that you’re “meant to be”—will fix it all on its own. That almost never works. It leaves room for lingering doubt, unresolved pain, and long-term resentment. And those things have a way of resurfacing later.

Walking Away Isn’t the Right Answer for Everyone: It’s easy for outsiders to say, “If he cheated, he can’t be the one.” But they’re not the ones living with the consequences of that decision. They’re not the ones who have to live with the loss if the relationship ends.

This woman valued the input of the people around her. But she also felt deeply connected to her husband and was having trouble making sense of how someone who loved her could do this. I’ve been there. It’s confusing. And sometimes, when friends offer judgmental advice—no matter how well-intentioned—it just adds to your pain.

Ultimately, whether or not her husband was still her soul mate wasn’t a question anyone else could answer. That was up to her.

In my opinion, he could still be “the one.” But they’d need to put in the work. If they didn’t take steps to rebuild, that connection might fade over time. On the other hand, many couples do recover from infidelity. It’s not easy. But if both people are committed, it’s absolutely possible to come out stronger on the other side.