Infidelity Articles By Katie Lersch

By: Katie Lersch: Because of my background and my infidelity blogs, I do a lot of research about what most contributes to infidelity and how it manifests itself.  I recently read an article that listed the top 10 countries for infidelity.  Some of the countries on the list surprised me somewhat, while others did not.   Below, I’ll list the top 10 countries as well as any other interesting information that was noted.

10. Finland: Apparently, having a relationship outside of marriage is somewhat socially acceptable in Finland, but they call these pairings “parallel relationships.”  If a survey by Match.com is any indication, repetitive cheating by married men is much more common than by women, where one in five men admitted to affairs with at least 10 women, which was about seven times more than the rate reported by women.

9. Great Britain:  This one surprised me a bit because the British are known for being so proper. However, it appears that around 35% of people living in England admit to being unfaithful.  And the site Ashley Madison has claimed that $1 million Brits have accounts with them. If there is any silver lining here, it’s that the British reported more guilt about their infidelity than folks from other European countries.

8.  Spain comes in at number 8, with around a 38% infidelity rate.  Although the Spanish have a reputation for being passionate, infidelity is considered taboo in Spain, perhaps due to the influence of the Catholic church.

7. Belgium has a 40% cheating rate and it’s apparently not taboo to cheat since adultery is no longer grounds for a legal separation.

6.  What was interesting to me was not that Norway was on the list with a 41% rate of infidelity, but that cheating websites noted that the rate of affairs went down in the winter but rose in the spring.  I guess it just feels like too much work to cheat when it is so cold out.

5.  France comes in at number five.  There’s no question that infidelity is somewhat socially acceptable in France, where people are generally open-minded about relationships outside of marriage.  When the President was caught visiting his mistress, his approval rating actually rose.

4. Germans appear to be slightly more promiscuous than the French, with a 45 percent infidelity rate.

3.  Italy is at number three. Interestingly, although Italy has a 45% percent infidelity rate, it also has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world.

2. Denmark.  This one is very interesting since Denmark always tops happiness indexes.  The 46% infidelity rate seems to be swayed toward the capital city of Copenhagen.

1. Thailand.  This country’s infidelity rate is a whopping 56%.  Perhaps this is due to a culture that is very accepting of adultery or the very brisk sex-for-sale trade in this country. Even young people accept having alternate relationships here.

So that’s the list, but does it teach us anything?  Well, we can look and see that countries who have a culture that is more accepting of adultery have higher rates of infidelity.  Plus, cultures who frown upon divorce can have high rates of infidelity but low divorce rates.

But, here is what struck me the most.  I’m often asked if there’s an infidelity epidemic or I’ll hear people say that “everyone” cheats.  These statistics show us that even in countries with the very highest levels of cheating, this just isn’t true.  Even in places where a mistress is so commonplace that there is a special name for her, you’re still only looking at just over half of people cheating.  That means that for every person who is having an affair or cheating, there is someone else who isn’t.  That means that even in cultures where people encourage or accept cheating, there are couples who choose to remain faithful.

So, it is not impossible to have a faithful relationship, no matter where you live.  Likewise, it is totally possible to cheat in an atmosphere that frowns upon it.

Although statistics like these are interesting, it’s my opinion that it’s best to worry about your own marriage and about what happens within your own four walls.  Other people’s marriages have nothing to do with your own choices or with your own marriage.  If fidelity is important to you, work on strengthening your marriage and on reaffirming your commitment.  Have open and regular communication so that your spouse knows that infidelity is not acceptable to you, no matter what others are doing.  These things are important no matter which country you live in.

My husband and I had what I thought was a stable marriage when he had an affair, which goes to show you that an affair can happen under any circumstance.  I was very determined not to just forfeit my family.  So, after taking some time to really think about my options, I chose to fight for my marriage.  I have never regretted that decision.  You can read more at http://surviving-the-affair.com

 

 

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